We'll Be Just Fine
by shannyfish
Summary: Aliens put Alex's life in danger and force J'onn into a realization.


" _Where_ is she, M'gann?!"

"This isn't what i _wanted_ , J'onn! You have to _believe_ me!" She was practically pleading and he could see her regret in her eyes. He'd been so excited about another Green Martian being alive, someone who would mean that he wasn't the last...and it felt like she kept disappointing him. It really wasn't her fault, though, he knew. It wasn't her fault that he expected her to act one way and she acted another. "I-I-"

"You _what_?! I _know_ it was you! That _you_ were involved!" His fingers were curled up into fists and it was all he could do to keep from physically and violently reacting to M'gann's lack of cooperation in that moment. "How could you do this?! You know what she means to me-"

"That's exactly _why_ I did it!" she shouted finally, anger filling her this time. She couldn't hold her human shape anymore and transformed into her Green Martian form. He didn't know how to reply to that. He was caught off guard and J'onn's mouth just hung open, words refusing to form. M'gann found the words, though. " _Think about it_! I've known you for _weeks_ now! First, all you talked about was Mars! About the past! About everything I wanted to _forget_! Then you move past it...and I'll I've heard about are these sisters that you claim to love like _daughters_...but how to talk about _her_...it's _more_ than that, J'onn. It's _sad_ that _you_ haven't realized it yet...that _she_ hasn't realized it yet."

His forehead crinkled up as he tried to really take in what M'gann was saying. Did she really think that he had feelings for-and that- No. J'onn was certain that M'gann was misunderstanding how much he cared for the Danvers sisters. His voice became soft as he finally spoke up again. "You thought that-"

"I _know_."

"You're wrong-"

"No, I'm not," M'gann said lightly. "And I told you, I'm sorry...and I want to help you get Alex back."

J'onn sucked in a breath and just had to hope what M'gann had told him before was right, that Alex would be unharmed. "Let's go then."

"No back up?"

"Do I need it?" he questioned seriously. When Detective Sawyer had called to let him know that Alex had been nabbed when they'd been on their run (and exactly who she'd identified as being there), she'd voiced her request to be contacted when they had information on Alex. Right now, he would rather go in and get Alex...then apologize for not reaching out later.

"No."

He just hoped that he could _really_ trust her with this. After what had happened, he knew that trust was going to be a lot harder in the future. M'gann wasn't holding Alex against her will currently, but apparently she'd gone off and vented at the bar...and it had been enough that a couple of her regulars got pissed and had gone after Alex (whom they knew from when Detective Sawyer had shown her the bar). J'onn was finding it more and more difficult to stay safe and keep those he cared about safe with everything so public.

If only they could step back into the shadows…

* * *

M'gann had called ahead and gotten all the information they needed before they arrived at the location Alex was allegedly being held at. He would go in and grab his agent while M'gann would distract the others on site.

The place Alex was being held in was a butchery (the small kind without a storefront that sold to places all over National City). According to M'gann its employees were also solely aliens. That definitely made things interesting. They didn't want to do anything more than get Alex out, which would make things tricky. It was a delicate balance that J'onn wasn't sure they'd be able to keep, everything would have to be exactly to plan.

So, they split up.

He waited the four minutes.

He phased through the back door.

Left.

Another left.

He found where M'gann had said that Alex would be held, but there was no Alex or sign of her there. He searched around frantic for anything other than meat in the middle of being properly sliced and diced. Panic began to set in until he sucked in a breath, closed his eyes, and searched with his mind for her. It had been something that he'd done before, something where he'd just vaguely keep tabs on her...that was before she knew who he was and exactly the full extent of his powers.

Alex.

He found her.

Close.

It was like a weak tether.

J'onn knew that that could mean many things and the fact that she wasn't radiating pain, it meant that she was likely unconscious. It brought him slight relief. Looking around, understanding the distance he felt, he tried to locate where Alex could be hidden away from sight. Then his eyes fell upon what looked like a giant walk-in refrigerator. There was meat all about, looking like it was in the middle of being butchered and while the entire building seemed refrigerated, he supposed that someplace else had to be a little better temperature controlled. Moving towards the door, he pulled the lock from it and yanked it open.

Alex.

She was curled up on the floor of the unit dressed in just workout clothing, definitely not enough warmth with the rather hot weather they'd been having. J'onn only took a moment before he was scooping her up, holding her close as he carried her out. He could hear M'gann and people laughing...that was good, they were still distracted...but it also angered him. All he could think of was that they were all responsible for Alex currently being in her current condition.

"You're safe now," he whispered.

Hurriedly, he moved out of the building and carefully deposited Alex in the back of the SUV using blankets stowed in there to wrap her in. He'd checked her fingers and her lips for color change before moving on to the warmth of her skin. She was only in a refrigeration unit and not a freezer, so even though he was still concerned about hypothermia...she didn't seem to be in danger of losing fingers or toes. That didn't make him any less worried. J'onn wanted to hear her words...to really know she was okay. So far, that hadn't come.

Sitting in the driver's seat, he waited for M'gann. His attention kept diverting to Alex lying on the floorboards behind the front seats. All he could wonder was while he tried not to focus on the fact that Alex was still unconscious and she'd been kidnapped...was if M'gann was right. Did he have feelings he didn't realize for Alex? He'd looked after her (and Kara and Eliza) from a distance for so long, promising Jeremiah… When he'd first set his eyes on Alex, she was a teenaged girl...which made this all the more creepy. All the years of watching over her, of training her, of keeping secrets from her, of trusting her, of molding her into an agent that he knew could handle herself against most aliens...he'd tried not to care too much...or even love.

That had all gone out the window.

The moment that the Danvers sisters had both been in on the fact that he was a Green Martian, it was like their relationship had gone to a completely different level overnight. They were this little family and there was something more than just caring and concern. He realized that he loved them...like daughters. How else could he look at how he felt? J'onn realized that he probably seemed to favor Alex, but it was just because he'd spent two years longer with her...and maybe he felt like he needed to be closer to her because she was Human while Kara was Kryptonian.

M'gann was walking his way.

He'd seen her out of his peripheral vision. The vehicle was already ready to go, all he was waiting for was for her to get into the vehicle. J'onn still found himself angry with her. He didn't know how to push that away entirely, not yet. Once she was in the vehicle, he sped off. His mind open and searching for Alex the entire drive back to the DEO.

* * *

"Sawyer's pissed."

"I don't care."

"I'm just giving you a head's up," Kara told him gently as they both watched over Alex from the other side of the glass.

He'd thought about calling an ambulance the moment he had had her out of the butchery, but he had assessed at the time that there was no absolute need for it. J'onn had been convinced that Alex would receive better care at the DEO and he was still certain that that decision had been the correct one. She was receiving dedicated care, it had been quick, and she was resting comfortably. "Tell me what you're thinking?" he requested in a whisper, his eyes never leaving Alex.

"Why?" she asked. It almost sounded playful.

A smirk spread across his face as his arms crossed across his chest. He looked over at her. "Because I can't read your mind."

"I have to say, I'm really thrilled about that...most of the time anyway."

He could tell that she was being truthful and not teasing him. "Most?"

Kara shrugged. "Sometimes I just wish I could think something, let you see what I'm thinking or feeling as an explanation that's going on rather than try to explain it…"

"That's not exactly how it works."

"How long have you kept tabs on Alex?"

"It's not like you think…"

"I think that if you were as good as I think...you would have known we were digging around into who the real Hank Henshaw was last year…" Kara pointed out with a bright smile.

"You're right," J'onn said. "I just...I just wanted to make sure Alex didn't get herself into trouble."

"You've met Alex, right?"

He actually laughed at that.

"I don't get how you can be laughing when-"

The extremely irritated voice of Detective Sawyer interrupted them and J'onn turned towards her immediately and cut her off. "I'm sorry I didn't contact you-"

"No, I get it. I'm not one of your agents…"

"It was a...delicate situation," J'onn tried to explain. Sure, she was also right. Sawyer wasn't one of his people. "I didn't take _any_ of my agents with me."

"He's telling the truth," Kara chimed in now. "It's not a trust thing. I wasn't invited either...and I happened to be here to witness Adler lecturing him."

J'onn sighed at that. "At least her lecture came with a donut."

"Oh...donut agent," Sawyer said. "I like her."

"She's also married," Kara put out there. "And Benanti is super sunny and adorable, but she will kick your ass…"

"Of course she is."

They were all quiet for a moment.

Maggie spoke up now. "So, how is she? Did you ever get the whole story of what happened?"

"She's stable, but unconscious," J'onn said. "She's hypothermic, but they've already managed to raise her body temperature slightly. The doctors seem optimistic."

"And why she was taken?"

J'onn was quiet for a moment, thinking about how to say what needed to be said. He knew that Alex and Maggie had gotten close...that she'd been the one to introduce Alex to the alien bar (which in turn had been his introduction to it...and M'gann as well). "M'gann...she and I have been talking a lot...I struck a nerve...she didn't think and said something while at the bar...and it just spiraled out of control."

Maggie sighed. "It probably doesn't help that I had already taken Alex there...and that she'd openly threatened people there...in only the way Alex knows how…"

"Probably not."

"But M'gann _did_ help us get Alex back...and she's apologized," Kara pointed out.

Even though that had all happened, J'onn still couldn't really let it go. He still hated the fact that Alex had been taken and really...deep down...he knew that it was his fault. He'd gone on about Kara and Alex to M'gann and he really honestly didn't know her that well. He'd been pushing to know her and he'd been so excited about no longer being the only surviving Green Martian… Perhaps everything he'd been doing was too much, too fast, and too trusting. It wasn't like him to trust so openly, but with another Green Martian he was also used to sharing everything and for there to be no secrets...and here they both were acting like humans (and yet him still expecting them to act without everything out in the open).

"She just needs sleep," Kara said. "So she can heal."

And it was just another reminder to J'onn about how fragile Alex was compared to him and Kara. He'd trained her to be stronger and tougher than his other agents purposely because her sister was a Kryptonian. That didn't mean, though, that she'd heal any faster…

"Mind if I stick around for a bit?" Maggie asked them.

"No," Kara said.

"I need air," he told him and moved away before he could be stopped by either one of them. J'onn just needed to clear his head a little. He'd thought about tracking down M'gann, but he knew that was the wrong choice. Really, he wanted to talk to Alex. He couldn't. Not right now. Even if he could get everyone to give him some time alone, he knew that right now she couldn't even add to the conversation.

J'onn ended up outside the base. The moon high in the sky and shining down on them. He shook his arms as he walked a distance away from the building entrance. He just needed to clear his head and relax a bit (even though he knew in all honesty there was no way for him to completely relax until Alex was conscious and had forgiven him).

* * *

Her eyes were on him before he had even realized that she was conscious. "Hi," she whispered sleepily. She was awake and it was like she was testing to make sure that her limbs all still worked. He watched as her legs shifted under the blanket and as each digit of her fingers started to move individually.

"How are you feeling?" he asked with concern and guilt. It was one thing to hear from the doctors that she was okay, but it was another to hear from her.

Alex blinked a few times before responding. "Tired."

"What do you remember?"

"Getting my ass kicked," she blurted out.

Well, she certainly seemed to sound like herself. J'onn could feel the confusion from her and he wondered if she really remembered it all or if it was just because she'd just woken up. "You were-"

"I was with Maggie," Alex began to recount. She took a breath before continuing, he could see it in her face that she was really thinking about it, concentrating on details. "We had met up to run together and we were on a trail…"

Before she could ask it, he was already answering her question. "Detective Sawyer wasn't taken, she's fine, and she's been here to see you."

Alex gave a nod. "Good."

"Alex-"

"I know that it was the aliens from the bar...and M'gann," she said as she stared at him. "I don't know why-"

He felt guiltier than he'd felt this entire time and guiltier than he had thought he'd feel. "Alex, I'm so sor-"

"It wasn't _you_ ," she told him, her voice still weak, but her eyes never leaving his. She knew him. She knew him _too_ well. That didn't make it any easier.

J'onn looked away. He kept thinking that he might not have gotten there soon enough, that they could have done so much worse than they had. As strong as Alex was, she was so fragile too (at least compared to him, Kara, and all of the other aliens out there). He'd trained her to be able to put up a fight, a good one, but this-

"J'onn?" she whispered.

Looking back at her, he see that she was barely keeping her eyes open at that point. He could _feel_ the concern weighing her down but keeping her awake at the same time. "You should sleep…"

"Will you stay here?"

He smiled and then gave a nod. J'onn reached out and took her hand, studying her fingers for a moment. "If you want me to, then yes."

"You don't need to be out there...running things?" she half teased weakly as her eyes started to slid closed.

"Adler will keep everyone in line."

Alex's lips turned up at that. "Or else no donuts."

"Or else no donuts," he echoed.

"Did you know that Benanti gave Winn the donut? He hasn't actually met with Adler's approval yet," Alex mumbled as her eyes completely closed. She was still awake, but the fatigue was really pushing to take over.

"I _did_ actually," J'onn told her with a smile and a huff. "I _watched_ Benanti do it. I didn't think it was allowed."

"It's not."

"You should have seen Adler's face," he said as he just watched her lay there.

"I can only imagine."

Silence.

" _Sleep_ , Alex," he whispered after a few minutes.

"You in my head?"

" _No_ ," he whispered as he squeezed her hand lightly. "But that doesn't mean that I can't _sense_ that you're still conscious…"

"Why did they do it?" Alex asked. He watched her, keeping his senses open for her, hoping that she'd drift off and he wouldn't have to actually answer that. He must have been silent for too long because her eyes slid open again. "J'onn?"

He couldn't lie to her.

She'd see straight through it.

"Because of something I said," he told her truthfully and gently. J'onn's eyes didn't leave hers and he just watched as her face scrunched up in confusion. She was going to ask...and he was already thinking of what he was going to tell her. There was no lying, but-

"What could you have possibly have said-"

"I talked too much about you...and Kara-"

"That doesn't make sense, why-"

J'onn could see now that the more they talked, the more awake she was getting. They were going to have to have this discussion. There was no way around it now. He had no idea how he was actually going to say it and he was worried about how Alex would react. There were two sides to everything and he knew that even if he gave M'gann's...then he couldn't leave out his own...because Alex would question the truth behind M'gann's reasoning.

"M'gann apparently had had enough of me trying to get close to her, of trying to kindle something between us," J'onn explained the best he could. "All I wanted was a connection to another Green Martian...since I wasn't the only one. She had made it clear that she didn't want to take the bond with me...and that she wanted to forget the past, but I thought there was still something we could forge there...a close friendship." He realized he was rambling, but he felt like she needed to know everything. "I apparently went on too much about you and Kara, but you two...you're my family here." He tilted his head to the side, just watching her. "M'gann decided that I felt more about you than I was saying."

"More?"

"I told her that you and Kara were like daughters to me," J'onn explained. "And M'gann is determined to believe that I feel differently about you-"

"Well, Kara is also an alien, you two have more in common-"

"No," J'onn interrupted. It was then that he realized that he really was going to have to say it all. "That I care more about you more than I should...more than I even thought I did…" He could see that she was still taking in what he was saying. "It didn't really hit me, that what M'gann was saying was true until I was panicking that I'd lost you," he whispered. He looked away because it was clear that his words were hitting her and she was shocked.

He'd been her boss for the past three years now. He'd been looking out for her (mostly from afar) since her father had died. He'd slowly fallen in love with her and Kara...and then even deeper with Alex. He'd just thought it was because he trusted her so much, that he could be so open with her...and that was all true, but there was more.

Her hand ran up his arm and cupped his cheek. "J'onn, look at me," she whispered.

At first, he didn't because he didn't want to see her reaction. He knew that the shock had passed and he felt a gentle something coming from her. Alex wasn't mad or upset, he knew that. He was trying to not pry, but Alex was someone who felt so much that it was difficult not to sense at least a fraction of what she felt.

" _Look at me_."

So, he finally did.

"I didn't plan on caring about anyone when I came to this planet," J'onn confessed. "I was following through on my promise to Jeremiah...and you and Kara...you just nudged your way into my heart." Alex smiled at that. "And I didn't mean to love you like I feel…"

"I think that's how love works," Alex whispered.

"You're not upset?"

"That you love me? Or that I was kidnapped because of it?" Alex questioned, but didn't wait for him to respond. "I am never going to be on the same level as you or Kara or M'gann-"

"Alex-"

"No, _it's true_ ," Alex continued. "I'm just human. I'm so breakable. I can't fly. I-"

"It doesn't matter to me if you are human or if you were alien," J'onn told her. "All I care about is what makes you Alex...that's what I love. You might be fragile and human, but you are so incredibly _intelligent_ , _loving_ , and _fierce_." He was quiet. "I love you, Alex Danvers...even if I've just realized it. I love you."

"I love you," Alex confessed. "I know more than just a friend, but I'm not exactly sure-"

"I'm not asking-"

"Love always wins, J'onn."

He wasn't exactly sure what to say to that. J'onn hadn't expected Alex to admit any feelings for him. There was still a part of him that was shocked that she'd said anything. "So, where does this leave us?"

Alex smiled. "We'll be just fine, J'onn." She was quiet for a moment and then let out a yawn. "I'm not sure exactly what the future holds, but I know one thing for sure…"

"Tell me."

"Whatever you face in the future, I am going to be right there by your side."

J'onn couldn't help but smile at that. "And I'll be by yours whenever you need me…"

"Even if I don't _think_ I do?"

"That's when I'm really going to be there."

"Will you stay?" Alex asked again.

"Always."

* * *

The End.


End file.
